I always wanted these to happen in real life
Where is “Several bad puns later”?
we need more!
Spongebob time cards are solid gold.
This damn show was too much of an influence on my life as a child
Sometimes a depressive episode is intensely hating yourself for 4 hours then going to bed at 3am feeling fine
POV you are an animal crossing villager and your local island representative who has been presumed dead for 5 months reappears to redecorate the town for fall
80s Aerobics video to the tune of Rob Zombie’s Dragula.
🔊 < sound on >
Now this is funny
Epic.
I’m here for intrusive thoughts and intrusive thoughts only
I love vague labels that make people go “but that’s confusing” or “but that could mean anything” Good. Keep guessing lol
“Queer doesn’t actually tell me anything” who says I wanted to tell you anything. Who even are you.
okay I know I haven’t been here in a while and this is like hella tmi but I need to yell it into the void or I’m gonna obsessively think about it. Anyway. I never thought I’d be going through withdrawal but forgetting to renew my antidepressants will do that to ya lmao.
reminder that digital piracy is completely and utterly morally correct. “you wouldn’t download a car” yes i fucking would. goodnight.
Aries: Today would be nicer if you weren’t chained to a post and set on fire, but we make the best with what we got.
Taurus: Be sure to spend time bonding with your pet. Consider patrolling your home for intruders and eliminating them as a team.
Gemini: Support your friends and improve the group dynamic by also allowing a ritual candle to melt over your deer-skull mask.
Cancer: The ultimate ability of customer service is the ability to cleave a man in two with a single blow. This is the apex of customer relations.
Leo: Today while gardening you will accidentally perform an arcane ritual that allows snakes to use firearms. This is not your fault, but still your responsibility.
Virgo: Your normal problem solving strategy of just slapping the shit out of something until it does what you want may run into some trouble when you encounter someone gains power when slapped.
Libra: Keep your struggles at a healthy distance by operating your computer with a long stick.
Scorpio: Its amazing how much stuff you realize isn’t actually important after you completely forget to do it and nothing bad happens.
Ophiuchus: Celebrate your creative accomplishments by lurking in abandoned wells or caves or the like. Don’t go crazy.
Sagittarius: One mans muck is another mans slime. Sludge is consistent across all human experience.
Capricorn: Do not take it as an insult to your skill when you are practicing your musical instrument of choice and the assassins arrive. They mixed up the address.
Aquarius: Luring adventurers with haunting melodies is not a career. Nobody is paying you, so its a hobby. For now.
Pisces: Speed up household chores by astral projecting a second pair of hands to fold your meta-laundry while you do your normal laundry.
